So I mentioned a few days back that I was in a funk. Really just totally disheartened by this stalemate of a situation we are in at the moment. I truly have to admit that this week I've been frustrated and upset about this situation. I am rarely able to remember that this is God's plan in my frustration. I'm mad because it shouldn't be like this [in my mind of course]. I'm frustrated because it should be easier. On the women's retreat, the very first night we talked about laying it all on the cross. Now this concept encompasses a lot..mainly about what should be changed about yourself to be more like Him. In my quiet time that weekend, I found myself curled up around my bible praying and pouring.out.my.heart with tears streaming down my face. Something I should be doing daily, but part of me (a BIG part of me) doesn't want to admit my complete frustration because I know I should be thankful for all the things I have. As if that's easy or something. I'll admit I was slightly off topic for my quiet time at that point...BUT I had to get through that to move on. It was the wall between me and God at that point in time that had to be knocked down with a wrecking ball.
Anyway, today my Bible reading schedule included Genesis 17-28.
There is so much that will be happening in each section that I read, that I could write and write and write. I will have to limit myself so that you don't get too bored of me. :)
Anyway, one part that stuck out to me and my funk is when God comes to visit Abraham and Sarah. He tells Abraham that despite their age, Sarah will bear a child for Abraham. Sarah laughs at this from inside the tent because of her disbelief that after all these years, she will be granted a child when she is old. God hears her laugh and asks why she laughed and asks her "Is anything too hard for the Lord?" [Genesis 18:14]
There are 2 things that were running through my mind at this point:
1) God hears & knows EVERYTHING. DUH! But that doesn't mean he doesn't want to hear me tell him directly. He is waiting for me to come before Him with every ounce of sadness, every tear, and every praise. He is waiting for me to give.it.ALL to Him. He is waiting for me to give it up, to let go, to draw near to Him.
2) There is N.O.T.H.I.N.G that is too hard for God. NOTHING. It doesn't matter what it is. He can do it. The difference is, will He. He knows what's best for us and when it should happen (or not happen) and no matter what He has deemed right and perfect for us we still need to remember #1.
Now my last thought is nothing I came up with. I actually just read it on another blog right before I decided to post. It's talking about remembering and focusing on God's purpose in our lives instead of what we might think our purpose should be.
"It's so easy isn't it? Just to want our lives to be happy and free from difficult circumstances altogether? But you know what? If our lives were that easy, I'd dare say that we'd not stop very often to really have a relationship with God. As sinful people, when things are going 'good' for us, we tend to forget all about God don't we?But see. God isn't looking for our lives to be 'good' -- HE is looking for us to grow and become Holy like Jesus! HE is looking for us to long for HIM and have a real and intimate relationship with HIM. And that takes work! It takes us being willing to work through the difficulties in our lives and not just complain about them. He wants us to come to HIM and form a real relationship.He also wants us to take the things we learn from HIM and apply it to our lives. In doing so, we become more like Jesus. More HOLY.See, God isn't looking to make us happy. HE is looking to make us HOLY. More like HIM - more like HIS son. That is His purpose for our lives - holiness! Happiness is a wonderful thing but it depends on what is HAPPENING in our lives at the moment. It is hard to be happy when we are asking our "why" questions, isn't it?But take heart! Because by spending the time with God that He deserves, by growing closer to HIM, by becoming more Holy - I think that we will have joy because the fruits of the Spirit working within us will show in our lives! And happiness, while different than joy, is a gift from the Lord - so be thankful for your happiness when you have it!
Being happy should never be our goal in life......being HOLY.....being more like our creator -- that should be our goal."