A Little Big Lesson on Life

In the summer of 2004, my hubs spent the summer with Campus Crusade for Christ in Wildwood NJ. As you may know, there are a ton of stores on boardwalks and Wildwood was no different. All the people he was with on "project" (as they called it) found a store that would stamp/burn a piece of leather with just about anything you want...as long as it fits. I can't remember what his says. wait! no never mind, definitely have no idea. Anyway, when he came home at the end of the summer, he gave me this.

He told me what the verse said and I loved it. For those of you who may not know, it says this: "Delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart."

Really? Seriously? That's awesome. Delighting in the Lord gets me the desires of my heart. Note: I was a veerrrryy young..baby Christian if you will. How silly of me!

Fast forward to this week. I was introduced to an app called Grace to You a couple months back and it provides you with TONS of sermons and scripture readings to listen to. I found myself not able to focus on any other tasks on my to do list, and so God gave me the inspiration to break open this app. A series called "A Course for Life" caught my eye so I went for it. The first sermon is called "Knowing God's will". And that really caught my eye since I'm trying to figure out what God's will for me is at the moment. I started listening.

Now I'm not going to spoil the whole sermon...I'd rather you listen to it yourself. :D  But what I'm getting at in this probably unnecessary long post is this. While Psalm 37:4 says that if you delight in the Lord, He will give you the desires in the heart--it's not exactly true as it may sound at first reading. The truth is that if you are truly and fully delighting yourself in the Lord, your heart will desire exactly what HE wants for YOU--and therefore you will receive the desires of your heart.

See how that works? It's not that if I give God my prayers and my praise and live accordingly for Him, I will suddenly get A, B, C (job, house, kids, etc) whatever it may be. No, God requires everything..and then through that process your heart's desire is no longer fixed on worldly things that are so easy to focus on, but your heart will now want what God wants.

At first I thought--DUH! of course. And then reality sank in. umm, wait a minute. I guess that means that I could possibly never have A, B, or C. But that doesn't matter, because when I'm fully delighting in my Lord and my Savior and my God, I will have things that are so.much.better than A, B, and C. I can't tell you what they are at the moment, because in all honesty I'm not sure I'm there at the moment. I'd love to be. But just not yet. It's something I need to work on...but thankfully I will never be alone in my course of life.

OOOOh-Nine

I've really been in a slump lately. And not just in writing on this blog. My schedule [or lack thereof] has really thrown me for a mental loop. I am still trying to wrap my head around the fact that Christmas has come and gone...almost a week ago. And now they want to throw New Years at me?
Maybe I would feel more festive if I had plans---of any kind. Nope, not a single plan. Just another ho-hum kind of day for me. Who knows I may even be in bed by 11pm...again. [thinking back to those days when I would stay up EVERY night of vacation because I didn't HAVE to wake up the next morning] boy, I'm getting old.

When thinking about how to approach this post I thought maybe I could answer way too many questions about my year, but after reading a number of others, I realized I wouldn't have the answers--at least not interesting ones. So I think I'm going to go with a format that I read in a Christmas letter and really liked....

What I Learned This Year

• I learned puppies don't like to be go through the 'housebreaking' process when it's cold and windy---but then again neither do humans. 
• I learned that when you put 2 dogs together, they like to play and bark---A LOT. 
• I learned educational hiring doesn't make sense and Mifflin wasn't going to be my teaching home. BUT I learned that I was okay with that. HUGE weight was lifted when I learned this. 
• I learned that a part time teaching job & a subbing job does not pay for rent. BUT I learned that living with in-laws isn't so bad. 
• I learned that daily subbing has it's ups and downs...less work=less pay. I learned that I miss having my own class, but that I'll be more than happy when it comes time to stay at home with my own children. 
• Speaking of kids, I learned that I don't have PCOS--[at least right now they don't think I do], but I potentially have many more tests when it comes time for that. 
• I learned that this is God's timing. We didn't have a baby yet, because God knew I wouldn't have a job this year or our own home. 
• I learned that God was so very gracious to us the past 2 years of our marriage and that I can't wait to see what he has in store for us [hoping that it's going to get better]. 
• I learned that no matter what is going on, that I have amazing family and I am very fortunate and abundantly rich in His provisions for me 

My hopes for 2010:

-that I can patiently wait for God's plan to be fulfilled.
-that I will grow stronger in Him and closer to Him.
-that God's plan includes a full time job for Greg & I (like I said--they are HOPES)
-I would love to read my Bible in a year (Although I have this every year---so I also want it to say read MORE)

[While cleaning today, I found a letter from my Bum (paternal grandfather who went home in Sept.08). I keep this letter because it's him...talking to me whenever I read it. There are so many things that come to mind when reading it through the tears. But one thing really stuck out to me this time.]

Proverbs 3:5-6

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding. Acknowledge him in all your ways, and he will make your paths straight."

...That is my hope for 2010   ...thank you Bum, I love you and miss you.

Jeremiah 29:11

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future

Jeremiah 29:11

Some days are harder than others...This is one of them.

Trying to be patient and understanding.
Trying to be happy for others.
Trying to keep my mind occupied while I do all of the above.